Once upon a time, the TREMORS franchise was fun to watch. When practical effects and real scares were in, as well as a solid plot, and Michael Gross wasn't hurting for money. (It also didn't hurt that TREMORS (1990) starred Gross, along with Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Reba McEntire, and Victor Wong.)

In the sixth installment of the very tired franchise, TREMORS: A COLD DAY IN HELL stars Michael Gross (the guy from the other TREMORS movies you probably know as Dad from FAMILY TIES) and Jamie Kennedy -- a once-beloved actor who stole the show in a little movie called SCREAM -- as the father-son duo who head to Canada to take on more Graboids and Ass-Blasters. If the latter sounds like a scat porn title, we are on the same page and need to get our heads out of the gutter. 

I really wanted to enjoy TREMORS: A COLD DAY IN HELL, but it's, well, boring. This is never a good sign when it comes to a monster movie about creatures who chew through the earth to make you their lunch. A COLD DAY IN HELL wants to be funny and scary at the same time, but the execution is really, really bad. There's a scene that comes to mind when a smart character is about to be pulled under with a Graboid -- she has the option to survive if she takes off her pants. She refuses because she's "not wearing any underwear." What was director Don Michael Paul intention here? Comedy? Unconventional practicality? I don't want Jamie Kennedy seeing my bits and pieces as much as the next person, but there's no way I'm risking my life for a pair of jeans because I'm not wearing underoos. 

It'll be a cold day in hell before I watch this movie again. Thank God we will always have TREMORS (1990), a satire that brilliantly paid homage to JAWS and didn't take itself too seriously but managed to still scare the hell out of audiences everywhere.